Awards shows be Black As(s) hell!
Welcome to the 35th installment of This Black-Ass Life! In honor of the Oscars last night, we present our top honors: A few Black-Ass awards show moments from recent history that made us laugh, scream with joy and cry. Enjoy ❤
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Enjoy a Black-Ass trip down memory lane with these videos:
Black-ass awards show moments that made us happy.
Tiffany and Maya proved Black girls do it better and they should have been the Oscars hosts all along.
Michelle, Kelly and Beyoncé gave the most awkward lap dances in history to Magic Johnson, Nelly and Terrence Howard. Also lol at those nude-colored ball gowns.
Our friend and reader reminded us of this wonderful moment when Queen Aretha said “thank you” and took back her own tribute. RIP TO THE QUEEN!
Diana Ross played with Lil’ Kim’s boob. A MOMENT.
Whitney and Mariah put aside their diva differences to have fun in the same dress. We miss you, Whitney!
Monique served. America AND BEYONCÉ were awe-struck.
Moonlight snatched the award back from La La Land whose producers tried to keep speaking even after they realized they hadn’t won!
Queen Latifah was all of us when Three 6 Mafia won the Oscar for Best Song. Please peep the White confusion.
Black-Ass Oscars moments that made us cry:
Jamie saying this about his grandma who passed away: “She still talks to me, only now she talks to me in my dreams and I can't wait to go to sleep tonight because we have a lot to talk about. I love you.”
Also Jamie was chewing gum before he went up and Oprah produced a tissue from her purse before he got up to accept the award and made him spit it out. QUEEN!
We’ve already talked about why this movie is trifling as hell but Halle made us cry!
Last night, Regina King finally got the recognition she deserves and please cry with us at the Black girl moment between her and Maya Rudolph.
Other Things
Congratulations again to Regina King! I’ll (Jumoke) like my dress back now please and thank you.
Speaking of well-deserved awards, Tracy Clayton is doing the work of giving Strong Black Legends their roses while they’re still with us. Check out her podcast!
A reminder that Iyanla: Fix My Life is premium television. Remember when she made that man with 34 children hold all them babies?!?
‘Back That Azz Up is 20.YEARS.OLD! Two things, 1) nothing has ever made me (Jumoke) feel this old, 2) shouts to Wayne for the best last 15 seconds of any song in the history of music.
And please read this retrospective on Back That Azz Up, it reminded me (Mitu) of nights at Cascade and Golden Glide in GA. All the nostalgia.
Apropos of nothing that has to do with TB-AL, but we just caught up on Grace & Frankie and Jane Fonda is our white grandma.
The cover of Essence with Jada, Willow and Adrienne is IT.
Leave Tiffany Haddish alone, French Montana!
R Kelly is behinds bars. PRAISE BE.
Our Black-Ass song of the week (Jumoke):
I had a cross-country flight to San Francisco and this was inexplicably the only downloaded song on my Spotify and I plane cried for two hours.
Things we are looking forward to / things we are not looking forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to Black Women's History Weeks, a holiday I made up to celebrate Black women during the last week of Black History Month in February and the first week of Women’s History Month in March. I’m like Carter G. Woodson, but like, significantly less smart.
I (Mitu) look forward to a more vapid moment than Jumoke. Despite my feelings on awards shows and who is awarded, I LOVE the outfits. I can’t wait till all the red carpet analyses come out tomorrow – my new Superbowl post-mortem.
Text from a Black-Ass Papa
The message is that my (Jumoke’s) father needs to stay off of WhatsApp aka African Fake News Network.
Stay Black, thrive, give yourself your roses because you deserve and we’ll hit your inbox next on March 11.