Black-Ass Caretakers
Welcome to the 92nd installment of This Black-Ass Life! This week, we’re both writing to you from our respective mamas’ homes for the first time in a long time (shout out to the Fauci ouchie!). Given all the mush and joy we’re feeling, we want to show love to the Black-ass caretakers.
Don’t forget: We've managed to grow this list thanks to y'all forwarding to friends so please keep it up! Forward this link to subscribe to five friends. And send us topics you'd like to see covered, texts from your Black-ass people, and any Black-ass anything from around the world and web.
I. The Facts
We want to focus on Black families and social networks of love. Before we begin, a quick shout out to Rep. Cori Bush for bringing “Black birthing people” to national and international attention in testimony about mortality rates for Black people in pregnancy and childbirth.
What most Americans think they know about Black families and care structure is based on racially biased portrayals that pathologize Black communities as poor and disjointed. This just isn’t so, which is not to say that Black families are without issues, but the current narrative overlook the ways we care for, and love on one another:
In comparison to white Americans, Black people are more likely to care for and be acquainted with people with different religious backgrounds and ethnicities.
Black mothers are more likely to be classified as single parents but that is not the end of the story. Black fathers (70%) are more likely to bathe, dress, diaper or help their children use the toilet every day in comparison to white fathers (60%).
We care for our elders, and do it with pride. While Black people are overrepresented as caregivers who spend more and have to work while doing it, they also show higher levels of coping and better wellbeing.
For LGBTQ+ Black folks, chosen family structure has sustained both physically and emotionally. From the emergence of ball culture, to having to form nuclear structures of self-protection due to the HIV epidemic, threat of violence, isolation and other societal marginalization, Black, Latinx and Indigenous and other QTPoC people have created chosen family structures to nurture and provide solace.
Despite having a much MUCH lower net worth, Black people donate 25% more of their wealth than white people and are consistently investing in their communities. What's also interesting is the ways that Black people target their philanthropy. According to a WaPo article, Black people’s giving can be divided into three categories: “Cornerstone (giving to higher education and the arts), Kinship (donating to organizations serving the Black community) and Sanctified (supporting Black churches).”
Why does it matter?
Black families and communities, in all their beautiful forms, despite the fuckshit that is America, persist vibrantly.
The problem is not the state of Black families or communities as is often argued in conservative media, the problem is the pervasive myth that Black people undervalue family and community structures, a myth that then informs harmful public policies.
What can my Black ass do?
Donate and/or raise awareness to help bail out Black mamas and caretakers.
Read this article on Black motherhood and the politicization of parenting.
Smile, and read this article on where Black mamas find joy. A quote: “Joy was spending a lot of time with [my baby] and loving her. She would look at me with this big smile and no teeth, but her eyes were twinkling. I loved it.”
ll. Other Things
Performances of all kinds!
Use this Summer Friday playlist for your (hopefully safe) gatherings!
My (Mitu’s) favorite part of the Ms. Tamisha Iman, Monet, Bob, Kandy and assorted others Internet beef was Bob choosing to come for Monet at every turn. Here she is reading Monet’s season 10 looks.
Another iconic Bob moment? A Black Lady Sketch Show’s The Basic Ball.
Willow is firmly following in Jada’s footsteps. Shout out to Wicked Wisdom!
Legendary season 2 is out. Here are a few faces you may recognize.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Mitu):
Bree Runway is perfect. Enjoy HOT HOT.
Things we are looking forward to / things we are not looking forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to my first mani/pedi (double mask still!) in a year and some change and seeing Mitu in for real life!
I (Mitu) look forward to an outdoor reunion with Jumoke and also finally tackling my nails!
lll. A lesson from a Black-Ass Parent
This Black-ass Mama is showing what it means to pass culture through to the babies!
Stay Black, thrive and love on your Black-selves! We’ll hit your inbox next on May 24.