Boo! Black-Ass Spooky Season Tales 👻
Boo!
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life!Halloween is upon us so we want to get spooooky!
l. The Facts
It’s spooky ooky ooky season, and we just want to share a few things that have us shaking in our boots. Tis’ the season!
Picture this. You’re in a shared apartment with a man whom you’ve agreed to marry after a few days of knowing each other in an attempt to prove Love is Blind. Two weeks prior to the wedding, he tells you he fathered three children through sperm donation. You lob him a softball, “Do the kids know what you look like?” And he looks you dead in your eyes and says, “No, I don’t think so.” Do not fear zombies. Fear men who LIE. RUN!!
We have some body horror for you. Disembodied hands everywhere. And what are they doing?? BEGGING. Everywhere we turn - text, call, email, YouTube ad - a candidate has their hand out begging for our hard-earned dollars. For people who are Black with swing state area codes, I (Mitu) see you and we will get through this.
Speaking of this election, an orange ghoul danced for a crowd of ghouls culminating in him swaying to Ave Maria. CHILLING.
What else is scary as hell? A man who refers to women as “females” with access to a microphone. Men?? sharing?? their?? opinions?? Miss us! For example, would you rather meet Beelzebub himself or listen to Boosie say another homophobic thing? We choose Beelzebub! We choose the bear!
There is a whole genre of horror dedicated to people not being in charge of what happens to their bodies. We have Alien, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, and the list goes on! We know people should be the boss of their own bodies so why are they trying to snatch away our reproductive rights? AHHHH!!
Lastly, I (Jumoke) am sending a cease and desist to whoever put me on Sexxy Red’s listserv. Shame on you for that inbox jumpscare!
Why does it matter?
Tis’ the season to talk all things spooky!
What can my Black ass do?
It’s scary out here! Keep your head on a swivel!
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings.
Anok Yai, you will always be famous.
When Christina Milian and Netflix team up, magic happens.
A few more Black-ass holiday movies coming in 2024.
Alex of Love is Blind shares her side of the story.
A conversation with GloRilla on becoming one of hip hop’s most promising voices.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Jumoke):
Float. GloRilla’s entire album, especially HOW I LOOK?
Things we look forward to / Things we recommend:
I (Mitu) look forward to my annual task of building a spreadsheet of all the holiday movies coming out.
I (Jumoke) look forward to Mitu’s annual spreadsheet of holiday movies. When I tell you my good sister puts in the work on this spreadsheet?!
lll. Message from a Black-Ass Spooky Movie Watcher
When we say we are watching scary movies in October. This is what we mean. The Twitches and Halloweentown series, Hocus Pocus, Charlie Brown and co searching for that big pumpkin. Dassit!
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today.