D-E-I-D-G-A-Black-Ass-F

Strictly for our DEI-Z.

Feb 05, 2025

This week, we kick off Black History Month, so shout out to the DEIs! Let’s talk happy Black-ass experiences!

“I am Black because I come from the earth's inside
Now take my word for jewel in the open light.”
- Coal, Audre Lorde

Fellow DEIs, hello! In a world with a federal hotline to report “DEI activity,” we want to celebrate This Black-Ass Life we get to live and the Black-ass joyful, hilarious, exuberant, luminous, and delicious experiences that come with it. Interspersed with our shenanigans are poems that share the richness of the Black experience. Happy Black History Month!

TFW when the collard greens, yams, and mac and cheese touch on the plate. It’s the feeling when ewedu is under gbegiri, under obe ata with some baked catfish atop! Girl! The best thing about the Black culinary experience is the way we know that food ought to meld together. Food so good you gotta take your wig off.
Speaking of wigs, there is such a beautiful Black-ass experience in showing where you are and what you hope to do through your hair. From the middle part bust down (used expertly in Abbott Elementary) to the Liza Minelli spikes (best worn by Dee Dee’s mama on Half & Half) to the “I’m going to have my day in court bob,” even to the much-maligned but equally beloved curly mop (sported iconically by Halle Berry).
On the topic of hair, Black women, we have to talk about this hair color. We do not know where this color was created (Dexter’s Laboratory) or what the intentions were, but what we do know is that it has held a chokehold on Black women. It transcends eras, generations, and geography. Case in point: Rihanna in her oontz-oontz era, Cynthia Bailey all the damn time, Garcelle Beauvais on the current season of RHOBH, Nollywood legend Genevieve Nnaji in this unfortunate bayang, my (Jumoke’s) best friend Bukky in 2007, and the side chick in every African movie between 1996 and 2018. The more beautiful the woman, the more she CANNOT stay away from this damn red hair not found anywhere in nature. Its powers were best deployed by Kandi Burruss in one of the best episodes of television on one of the best television shows ever.

“I am so perfect, so divine, so ethereal, so surreal
I cannot be comprehended except by my permission”
- Ego-Tripping (there may be a reason why), Nikki Giovanni

One beautiful part of the Black-ass experience is fantastic storytelling. Give us an “Okay, so boom!” A “Come to find out.” Or a “Mind you.” When any of these phrases are uttered in a conversation, you know you are in for a reveal, a bit of gossip, a good-ass story.
We actually don’t even have to speak to get our point across. Science tells us (please do not take us, nonscientists, seriously) that all Black people have excellent nonverbal communication skills. How else do you describe the look you give the only other Black person around when an 8.5x11 does something wild!?
- Seriously, what is the German word for the unspoken connection between you and the other Black person at your job when you have a full conversation through just look and feeling about nonsense? Be that nonsense another person, a policy, or a potluck.

“Build now your Church, my brothers, sisters. Build
never with brick or Corten nor with granite.
Build with lithe love.
With love like lion-eyes.
with love like morningrise.
with love like black, our black—
luminously indiscreet;
complete; continuous.”
- The Sermon on the Warpland, Gwendolyn Brooks

The way Black people hype up their state/city/town/village, no matter how random. “I’m from Chattanooga, you don’t know about us!” “Don’t try me, I’m from Cincinnati!” My (Jumoke) father’s village literally got running water like this century, and it’s “Iperindo all day everyday!”
- My sister hates this joke. I have no regrets.
One of the very best things about being Black is how we greet each other. A hype up. A dap. A nod. A pantomime photo sesh. A long rocking side-to-side hug. A point at each other from afar because you haven’t seen each other in a minute. A ‘hey girl hey girl hey girl heyyyy.’ Even that awkward half-bow you do when your mama introduces you to her random friend from work at the Walmart. It’s all love when we lay eyes on each other.
Also within that communal feeling is the experience of watching a Black-ass movie with Black-ass people. If you are of age, do you remember where you were in theaters in 2017 when Lil’ Rel came out of that car at the end of Get Out? When I (Mitu) saw it in Annapolis, MD, a man stood up and led us in a cheer Arsenio Hall whoop whoop style every time Daniel got a member of that family. When we both watched Girls’ Trip in theaters together, women were making Essence Fest plans during the film out of sheer enthusiasm.
Finally, despite whatever bullshit is in front of us, or maybe even because of it, a hearty hehe haha, a guffaw, or a truly deep-in-your-gut laugh is never that far out of our reach. What we know and what white supremacists have never really understood is that blackness is an innately joyful experience because it has to be. Blustering racists and their antics be damned, we are here now, we will be here in the future, and we’ll still be having a time.

What can my Black ass do?

Instead of the usual, this week, we offer the last two stanza’s of Margaret Walker’s For My People.

For my people standing staring trying to fashion a better way
from confusion, from hypocrisy and misunderstanding,
trying to fashion a world that will hold all the people,
all the faces, all the adams and eves and their countless
generations;
Let a new earth rise.
Let another world be born. Let a
bloody peace be written in the sky. Let a second
generation full of courage issue forth; let a people
loving freedom come to growth. Let a beauty full of
healing and a strength of final clenching be the pulsing
in our spirits and our blood. Let the martial songs be
written, let the dirges disappear. Let a race of men now
rise and take control.

Share This Black-Ass Life

II. Other Things

Black-ass happenings.

Blue Ivy Carter is the hardest-working manager in the business!
A fabulous Grammys recap.
A reminder to trans kids from Raquel Willis.
The beautiful digital community of protection for undocumented people in Chicago.

Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Mitu):

I am a Doechii supremacist! Here is Denial is a River.

Things we look forward to / Things we recommend:

I (Jumoke) recommend making soups. It feels really good to lean into the 77-year-old, perpetually cold woman I was born to be.
I (Mitu) recommend Paradise. Sterling K. Brown is delightful in this very tense show.

lll. Text Reporting from A Black-Ass Rideshare

I (Mitu) rode in a Lyft and had to share that experience with Jumoke, who demanded (rightfully) that I share the story of an iconic young woman with you, too. This is just an excerpt of what this young woman put this man through!

Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today.