“I Will Always Love You” and other Black-Ass Innovations
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life! It’s the last day of Black history month, and we want to bring you part two of Black-ass innovations that shook the table and changed the world for the better.
I. The Facts
Last time, we brought up innovations such as being named Bennett and thus being not in it. A few more:
Any kind of American freedoms! Sure, Tommy wrote, “all men are created equal,” but we all know he did not actually believe or mean it. Those words would remain meaningless without the descendants of enslaved Africans who toiled, agitated, fought, sat in, protested, prayed, gathered, voted, and died. Every marginalized group in America owes their freedom and their place in America to enslaved Africans and their descendants.
The song “I Will Always Love You.” Did Dolly ‘peace be with her always’ Parton write those words? Yes. Did she sing this beautifully? 100 times yes. Have you ever said, “put on the Dolly version of that song?” No. Do you want to? Your honor, case closed!
Twitter. Every day there is new musty weirdness on that platform, but Twitter is only Twitter because Black people made it so. Do you remember how Black Twitter literally made Scandal a thing? From movement-building to appointment television, Black Twitter changed the course of history and made the internet a lot funnier.
Supposedly a man named Robert Chesebrough created Vaseline. That is a lie! A Black grandma created Vaseline for Black babies everywhere to help us with ashy elbows, chapped lips, and ouchies!
Sidebar. Y’all! I just learned Vaseline makes special men’s Vaseline?!
Another sidebar. Robert ate a spoonful of Vaseline every day?
Target. Black people own Target and that lil dog too. Remember in the early aughts when we all started calling it Tarjay to zhuzh it up? A wonderful place for lotions, snacks, bright lights, and even groceries. Y’all are even doing hair at Target now.
Why does it matter?
We know we are being partially (fully) silly here, but we also exist in a time where Black culture and history are being erased from classrooms, which is especially alarming because it’s not like Black history was particularly comprehensive before this point. Nor were many classrooms ever necessarily safe for Black children.
Over 30 state legislatures across the country have introduced bills to limit discussion of racial history, over 300 books by Black authors were banned, and there is a concerted effort of political fear-mongering around the elusive chanteuse herself, critical race theory.
Educators report experiencing increased fear and anxiety around addressing race or gender in curriculums, and ~41% of Black teachers say they’ve changed lesson plans.
One wild example - Educators in Arkansas, because of their recent ban, do not know if they can bring up “The Little Rock Nine.” AHHHH!!!!
Black youth face rising rates of depression and anxiety and are twice as likely to die by suicide as their white peers. Supporting their mental health means of course, free, accessible resources and also safe, validating spaces where they don’t feel like their identities are content for political theater.
What can my Black ass do?
Celebrate your Black-ass self. You are a wonder!
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings
Watching Zaya be supported and loved out loud by her parents is a joy. Shout out to Gabrielle Union with the ultimate call to action.
THIS IS BLACK HISTORY.
Love to Brittney and Cherelle Griner.
Who was actually reading Dilbert? Anyways, good riddance.
Keke’s baby is here! With a Black history month-appropriate name to boot!
The Potomac ladies spoke about colorism. It was exactly as expected. At least Andy knew when to shut up.
Lori might not be the mayor of Chicago deserved, but my (Jumoke’s) dark under-eye queen will forever remain an international treasure.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Jumoke):
The Gap Band will never not be fun! Kpe Paso might be even more fun. Hey Mickey! is the absolute funnest!
Things we look forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to the magnolia blossoms. People go hard for cherry blossoms, but the magnolias are out here!
I (Mitu) look forward to better weather and trying not to question a week with 80-degree weather and snow.
lll. Text From A Black-Ass Parent
I (Mitu) found a throwback text. It was my dad’s birthday, and my parents were doing their favorite activity - competitive card playing. My mom texted me that she was up to her favorite activity - cheating at competitive card playing. So I snitched! And I’m proud of it! It was my dad’s birthday!
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today. We'll hit your inbox next on March 13!