Keep Your Head Down & Other Bad Advice for Our Black Asses
Empty words; empty heads.
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life! This week, we’re discussing the bad advice people love to give to young workers and students! If we had a nickel for every time someone gave us nonsense professional advice, we’d be so rich now that we would be the ones giving out bad advice and empty platitudes.
l. The Facts
Last week the state of Missouri decided to embarrass me (Jumoke) once again by being in the news because a fellow Missourian, this time, someone who literally kicks balls around, said something so very bird-brained and hateful as a commencement speaker. It got us thinking about other terrible advice people give Black people, especially those just starting their careers.
Keep your head down and let the work speak for itself: The lies! The lies! The lies! How many of us have kept our heads down all the way to a lay-off? Would you believe that Black workers are laid off at a higher rate than their white counterparts? Would you believe it?
This advice is also annoying because it challenges us to be more creative, more thoughtful, and to go the extra mile! Utter shenanigans. Never in the history of Black America has the phrase, “Omg, Tasha, you work so hard! We will increase your salary by 25%! Keep it up, and we’ll just have to increase it by another 15%! You hard worker, you!”
Trust me: This is the “He’s a good man, Savannah” of advice. Ultimately, that man Savannah was with was in fact VERY BAD! You cannot trust someone in an academic or professional setting to advocate for you without getting a great feel for how they move over a long period of time. And yes, this goes for other Black people as well. Here’s another phrase for you: All skinfolk ain’t kinfolk.
Be respectable: People who give this advice usually don’t straight up say be respectable. They may tell you to wear blazers, straighten your hair, and speak this way or that way. Essentially, be as accommodating and as inoffensive to the white gaze as possible, and all will be well. That’s just not how white supremacy has ever worked.
Get a MRS. with that degree: This advice might seem old school, but it’s one many women are still getting. Ask any immigrant daughter who graduates and immediately starts getting questions about where her engagement ring is. Also, imagine marrying the person you were talking to at 19? 20? Yikes on yikes!
Get to work before your boss and leave after they do: Oof! This advice is especially given to interns and people early in their careers. It is also a lovely way to ensure burnout before their frontal lobes are even fully developed.
When they go low, we go high. With love to a phrase screen printed on many an auntie’s t-shirt, this is not great advice in a workplace setting. Being the ever-gracious, ever-kind Black worker in the face of continuous gas-lighting and toxicity will only leave you sick and tired.
I (Jumoke) will openly share that the most empowered I’ve ever felt at work was when I openly told certain somebodies about themselves.
Why does it matter?
This kind of advice individualizes problems without addressing systemic issues. Letting your work speak for itself, putting in ridiculous hours, or being respectable does not in fact stop systemic issues faced by Black people.
Studies after studies show Black workers face harsher reviews and worse pay (with a racial wage gap that starts as early as 16-years-old) just because they show up exactly as they are: Black. No amount of grit or changing who we are is going to change that.
What can my Black ass do?
When they go low, feel free to take it to hell (legally, of course). Or, if you are saved, go medium.
Keep the receipts of your successes, and always ask (or search) for more and better. You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.
If you want to be like Hilary Duff and Raise Your Voice (2004), please do so. Speak up on campus or at work if something is not right, organize your colleagues and classmates, form a union, or protest.
Also, you can take a nap. It’s a lot sometimes (or much of the time), and napping and resting is always an option.
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings.
A fantastic piece from Hanna Phifer on the Black Twitter Hulu docuseries.
Now THIS kind of mess is how you get us to watch sports.
Serena Williams will host the ESPYs.
Ayo Edebiri is so charming.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Jumoke):
This weekend, Jumoke taught me about Spotify On Repeat, and I learned my most played song of late is the song of the summer, No Regular Stud by Wootie Woo and the Hoochie Daddies.
Things we look forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to the Summer House Martha’s Vineyard reunion. Maybe I’ll be able to tell the light-skinned ladies apart by then. Y’all, it’s been the hardest part of enjoying this good-ass show.
I (Mitu) look forward to swimming pool season. I’m floating through this summer!
lll. Message from a Black-Ass Baby
This baby made it crystal clear that it was an A-B conversation and mama needed to C her way out of it.
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today.