Let’s Get Messy: Black-Ass Historical Beefs
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life! Let’s start this week by normalizing our heroes and relishing in their beefs.
I. The Facts
Black-ass beefs of history we want to see made into movies.
Marcus Garvey thought W. E. B. Du Bois adhered too closely to elites and respectability politics and Du Bois once called Garvey "a little, fat black man; ugly, but with intelligent eyes and a big head."
Garvey returned the favor calling Du Bois a "a little Dutch, a little French, a little Negro...a mulatto...a monstrosity."
Also, W. E. B. Du Bois took his beef with Booker T. Washington so seriously that he wrote a whole chapter on every way Washington had him messed up. Ether who?
So , Zora Neale Hurston used to work for Carter G. Woodson. According to Langston Hughes, the relationship got a lil messy when Woodson decided he wasn’t going to run Zora her money!
Y’all. James Baldwin once said that Langston Hughes failed “to transform his private experience as a Negro into art.” A READ.
Malcolm X was backed into a corner and put Elijah Muhammed on front street, telling everybody about his eight children by six teenagers.
Don King vs. Everybody.
Don King vs. the two men he murdered.
Don King vs. Mike Tyson; vs. Muhammed Ali; vs. Tim Witherspoon; vs everybody because dude was the scammiest scammer!
Mother Harriet vs. all of you who won’t leave her alone. To Freedom!
More modern beefs
The Reverend Messy Jesse Jackson said he wanted to cut Obama’s nuts off that one time.
Cornel vs. Ta-Nehisi; Ta-Nehisi vs. Obama; Cornel vs. Obama; Michael Eric Dyson vs Cornel
An entertainment beef: do you remember when Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey had to share a panel on American Idol and chaos reigned?
What can my Black ass do?
Sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy this mess.
ll. Other Things
Funny, happy things
Hey! Wanna laugh? Watch Beethoven Verzuz Jayhoven’s Instagram Live Battle.
Tyra Banks had an MLM?!
We’re obsessed with Youtuber and Gen Zer D’Angelo Wallace. His takedowns of all the other youtube people are so smart!
For those who have already or will celebrate birthdays in quarantine, Evelyn from the Internets has a self-affirming message.
Black Lady Sketch Show predicted quarantine and it’s also a perfect show.
On the NBA bubble, brunch food and thigh-baring shorts.
A Janet Mock-directed Sammy Davis Jr. movie? Sign us up!
Sign us up for the Issa Rae/Jordan Peele movie, too.
This Nigerian scammer is so damn tacky and I (Jumoke) love it.
We know we late but Billy Porter on the cover of Essence is perfection personified.
Wow, we’ve been through so much in 2020 y’all, but God and the cast of Girlfriends are always on our side!
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Mitu):
Flo Milli’s album is perfect. Here’s the video for Weak.
Things we are looking forward to / things we are not looking forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to not having lopsided hair after cutting my hair myself! I’m doing it y’all, my split-ends are out of control. To Freedom!
I (Mitu) look forward to supporting Jumoke in this self-haircut adventure.
lll. Text from a Black-Ass Mama
My (Jumoke’s) mama sent me a picture of her efo. Besides being the best human I’ve ever known, my favorite thing about my mama is that she never skimps on the shrimp!
Stay Black, thrive and eat a hearty stew this week! We’ll hit your inbox next on August 17.