Melanin Is Not Black-Ass Vibranium, And That’s Okay!
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life! This week, we beg you to use sunscreen and question the value of the phrase, “Black don’t crack.”
I. The Facts
Being melanated is one of the many, many blessings of Blackness. From cocoa to onyx to mahogany, melanin is responsible for our hair, skin, and eye color. However, and importantly, melanin does not stop the aging process, protect us from the harmful effects of the sun, or act as a salve for racism.
With the way some of us talk about it, you would think that melanin was pure vibranium. From Gabrielle Union to Tracee Ellis Ross and Angela Bassett, we uphold the agelessness of some Black women as a sign they are right with the creator and the ancestors.
In media and with friends and family, the ethos of “Black don’t crack,” is like a salve for the day-to-day harsh reality of being Black in this world. Yes, we have to beg for the basic modicum of humanity, but look how good we look?! And sure we work harder and longer and die sooner, but at least we are not aging like a banana.
This is very silly because those two things are simply not even a lil bit equal. I (Jumoke) will personally take all the crows' feet in the world instead of the 36 years of racism I’ve experienced, thank you very much.
Further, Black cracks! And the moment it starts to crack, people jump straight to physiognomy, the practice of assessing a person's character or personality from their outer appearance. See the recent discourse on Rihanna as an example.
Why does it matter?
The problem isn’t that we shouldn’t be proud of the many gifts of Blackness (both figurative and literal), but Blackness does not make us superhuman. Black people age.
Our Black-ass obsession with not aging (or at least looking like we are not aging) means that we stay praising celebrities for being naturally ageless, while the statistics show that many of us are actually getting nipped and tucked, or are at least considering it to achieve the age-less aesthetic.
Black Americans are getting Botox more than ever. According to the ASPS' 2020 Plastic Surgery Statistics report, 1.78 million Black Americans opted for cosmetic procedures in 2020, which rose from 1.68 million in 2018.
It is also not a coincidence that many of those ageless celebrities are also selling us skincare and makeup lines because the more anxiety we have about aging, the more money we pour into slowing down its effects, yet the more we age, and on and on.
What can my Black ass do?
REMINDER: Naturally occurring dark circles, weight gain, weight loss, gray hair, thinning hair, hair loss, hyperpigmentation, wrinkles, sagging skin, all of it, is 1. A beautiful sign that you’re aging, which is a gift and 2. Not a sign of anything you’re doing wrong!
Wear sunscreen and reapply regularly. Yes, melanin can protect the skin, but it is not a cure-all or a full shield against the sun. While people with darker skin have a lower rate of melanoma, that rate is not zero. Dermatologists recommend mineral sunscreen that is tinted for darker skin tones. And here is a guide to finding the right dermatologist for your needs.
By the way, Melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer, is, in fact, deadlier in Black men than in other groups. More terrifying, among Black men, the five-year survival rate for Melanoma was 52%, which is significantly lower than the 75% five-year overall survival rate amongst white men. Black men also find melanoma in more unexpected places, such as fingernails and the bottoms of their feet.
Lastly, it’s ok to be a good b*tch rather than a bad b*tch. One time, I (Jumoke) decided that I wanted to try my hand at being a bad b*tch and got mink eyelashes. First, it cost 275 AMERICAN DOLLARS, not adding the $35 Lyft to the lash expert (lol). I also had to lay down for 90 minutes as she added the lashes, then I couldn’t wear my sleep mask at night, couldn't clean my face in the shower, and couldn’t sweat/cry to not disturb said lashes, which also started coming off as soon as she put them in. That experience taught me that I needed to stay my ass in my lane, which is the good b*tch that ages lane.
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings
The Living Single sisterhood continues.
Read George M. Johnson on Lil Nas X’s exploration of Christianity.
We officially have a production date for the Teyana Taylor-led Dionne Warwick biopic.
An estimate on how much Katt earned Shay Shay for simply bearing witness. Is this the passive income y’all are always talking about?
Purple Rain is on its way to Broadway musical.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Mitu):
Is there any other song besides HISS? Especially loved Meg calling out people using MULTIPLE r.k*lly songs as TikTok sounds!
Things we look forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to this wack-ass season being over. I have the winter blues bad, and I’m sick of her.
I (Mitu) look forward to the return of Hallmark mystery movies.
lll. Tears of Laughter from a Black-Ass Parent
These parents were at quite a show, and struggled to hold it together.
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today. We'll hit your inbox next on February 13!