Ogling the Black-Ass Men of 90s TV
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life! This week, after a heated debate at This Black-Ass Life’s HQ (our iMessage chat) over Usher’s top 10 hits, we were inspired to list some of the fine-ass T.V. men of the 90s.
I. The Facts
Please know this will be part of a series because we cannot begin to capture all the fineness that was the 90s. This week, we’re sticking to fine-ass 90s T.V. stars.
The men of Living Single. We had Mario and Melvin Van Peebles vying for Regine’s love. Regine getting caught on the roof by her MOM with Khalil Kain (who also served as a very fine Darnell on Girlfriends). Shemar Moore fighting for Synclaire’s love. Bumper Robinson working at Flavor and crushing on Khadijah. And maybe the most funny story arc of the ladies fighting over their upstairs neighbor Morris Chestnut.
Similarly, we must discuss Moesha’s run. We had Fredro Starr as Quinton (a man I (Mitu) was determined to help set on the right path in my youth), Ohagi (the gorgeous Merlin Santana (RIP)), and USHER.
We need to BeReal with ourselves: Malcolm-Jamal Warner was way too fine on Malcolm and Eddie.
The Wayans Bros is a legendary show that helped launch The WB. More importantly. Shawn and Marlon are HOT and funny.
As a child, Jason Weaver and Omar Gooding were THE crushes on Smart Guy. The way I (Jumoke) LOVED loved Jason Weaver as a 12-year-old? Gahdamn! I (Mitu) revisited the show as an adult, and John Marshall Jones as zaddy Floyd is so fine. A caring, sensitive man who knows how to build whatever you need around the house raising three lovely children. Fan the flames!
Speaking of Zaddies, Gregory Hines on the aptly named The Gregory Hines show was 🌶️. Tap danced into our hearts!
Butter pecan Allen Payne made the rounds on many classic 90s television programs and the audience “woooooooooo!’d accordingly.
Another RIP for Merlin Santana who played actual heartthrob Romeo Santana on The Steve Harvey Show.
My (Jumoke’s) lil 9-year-old heart almost leaped out of my chest when Steve Urkel became Stefan Urquelle. Was the whole storyline weird? Sure. But boy was I happy to see Jaleel White out of those suspenders.
Robert Ri’chard was the center of our middle school hearts on Cousin Skeeter. Y’all remember him on One on One after he got the glow-up?!
If I (Jumoke) were a woman who took to yelling at men on the street, I would yell “heeeeeey chocolate!” at T.K. Anderson (Tyrone Burton) all day every day. You wouldn’t?! Revisit The Parent ‘Hood and let us know.
Who didn’t have a crush on The Fresh Prince?
Where did we want to be? In The House with LL Cool J!
Why does it matter?
Because why not celebrate a lil eye candy on a Tuesday evening?
What can my Black ass do?
Reply to this email with the next themes we should consider please! For example, should we count down the beggin’ men of R&B? The bad boys of boy bands? The few sports people we can recall? Let us know!
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings
The Root presents March’s best Black celebrity fashion moments.
Shout out to Teyana Taylor and her star turn as an indie movie darling.
Tina Knowles-Lawson has a new WACO exhibit curating art from Black women and femme-identifying artists. Go check it out in April!
Tears from this Cinderella reunion.
Love this profile of Tyler James Williams. Who is the producer who tried baby Tyler?
From the House of Deréon to Ivy Park to now couture with Balmain. Bey can do it all.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Jumoke):
Stop what you are doing and go watch these fine ass Black people in this video
Things we look forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to The Honeymoon coming out on streaming. Mitu and I saw it at the African Film Festival, and it was so delightful.
I (Mitu) look forward to fun in the sun this week!
lll. Boundaries From A Black-Ass Baby
This perfect baby was just trying to enjoy a snack and then here comes dad staring too hard. Mind your business!
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today. We'll hit your inbox next on April 11!