Share Love & Mind Your Black-Ass Business For The Holidays
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life! This week, we want to back you up in case you get into any lil’ tiffs this holiday season. Consider this our gratitude to you for being a dedicated reader of this newsletter. Thank you for being with us!
I. The Facts
The holidays are here, which increases your chance of experiencing people's mouths opening up to spew nonsense. It’s the most wonderful time of the year and the most invasive time of the year. While you can Meredith Marks your way through the season and disengage, we want to remind you that with over 150 newsletters sent, we’ve got you covered with facts and figures to back you up at the dining table should you need them:
Is it a Black household if someone isn’t monitoring your weight and letting you know exactly how they feel about your body? Tell your auntie to keep her anti-fatness to herself. We are not taking wellness advice from people who get their guidance from the “scientists” of Facebook and WhatsApp.
Your problematic cousin sure has a lot to say about Black women, and yet here he is, a passport bro falling for the okey doke with a woman he’s trying to economically manipulate in Colombia. Shame.
To shut down your “What about the kids, though?” uncle, who brings up trans children as a way to defend his transphobic and homophobic views, ask him the last time one of his children called him. Better yet, ask him about the last time he called them. Sir, what about your children?
Is there anything worse than your nephew cornering you to tell you he can teach you how to make money in your sleep? Don’t get mad. In 2024, let’s pray for our siblings attempting generational wealth through Forex. Their delusional dedication to capitalism deserves our empathy,
When your sister-in-law gets going about Black-on-Black crime, and asks “why are Black people always fighting,” kindly check her respectability politics. BUT don’t overcorrect with that “we are not our ancestors” nonsense because they were out here knuckin’ and buckin,’ plottin,’ poisonin,’ overthrowin,’ and anything else for freedom.
Your daddy arguing about women these days who don’t “clean like they used to?” Two suggestions: 1. You can kindly or not so kindly remind people that you’re not hired staff (and potentially would gladly receive payment to scrub and clean), and 2. Expectations around cleanliness for Black people are racist and have literally led to illness and death due to toxic chemicals in cleaning products.
If your third cousin three times removed keeps wondering “where your man is.” Feel free to respond, “And where is yours?” a la Karen asking, “Is Jamal coming?” Because let’s talk about the cishet women worried about getting everyone down the aisle but themselves are either practically single in their marriages or partnered to their biggest opp. Don’t let anyone shame you into Popeyes Parking Lot of Love.
For the people raised in Christian homes, if your nana asks why she hasn’t “seen you in church lately.” You can say you have a standing Sunday conflict, or you can tell her, “Truth is I’m tired…” of the misogynoir in the Black church and disdain for single women, young women, older women, married women, women with kids, women in hats or sitting on mats; you get it.
Why does it matter?
This holiday season and always, you deserve peace, joy, and love. Rude nosy family members be damned.
What can my Black ass do?
It will always behoove you to mind your business.
It will always behoove you to remember that you too can be a Black-ass problem, and you would benefit from checking yourself if you have the urge to ask silly, invasive questions.
Read this guide on setting boundaries around body talk during the holidays there are even example responses you can use.
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings
If you’re searching for Black Christmas movie recommendations, we’ve got you covered with our ode to Black Christmas movies in Vulture.
It’s Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s time. She shines in The Holdovers.
Tabitha Brown is an Emmy winner, doing TV her own way.
An interview with Erika Alexander.
A few 2023 Black-ass sports highlights.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Mitu):
Samara Joy has been touring her Christmas album with her family, and every performance has been stunning; enjoy The Christmas Song.
Things we look forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to taking a step back to take in all the joys and blessings of 2023.
I (Mitu) look forward to 2024!
lll. Modeling from A Black-Ass Parent
Obsessed with this mama who found a community for her baby’s interests.
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today. We'll hit your inbox next in 2024!