Swish! Thirsting for Black-Ass 90s Sports Stars
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life! This week, we want to thirst. We've ney-hoo’d with 90s RnB Crooners and ogled 90s TV Stars. Now it’s time to take it to the pitch!
I. The Facts
After tapping the depths of our sports knowledge (remembering Living Single guest stars and reading listicles like “greatest Black athletes of the 90s”) and extensive internal debate (there are two submissions we put forward individually because we could not reach consensus after multiple trips to the red table), we present to you 90s athletes who made our hearts bounce like basketballs:
Grant Hill is a Duke grad, a basketball legend, an iconic Living Single guest star, and, most importantly, Tamia’s dance partner.
Barry Sanders is a Detroit legend and record-breaking football star. We also cannot stop looking at this photo. WHEW!
I (Jumoke) alone add Derek Jeter to this list. The maddest I’ve ever been with my father was when he made me go to his friend's house on December 1, 2001, when Derek Jeter, the love of my 14-year-old heart, performed on SNL. I had to wait until that summer to watch the recap!
He’s experiencing a tough season, but we need to reflect on the Deion Sanders of the 90s, who perfected the touchdown dance and excelled in not one but TWO professional sports. Prime Time indeed.
Barry Bonds has had a controversial career but is still known as one of the greatest baseball players ever. Also, he was apparently an at-least-once-successful armchair fertility consultant after retiring?
I (Mitu) alone submit 90s Shaquille O’Neal. Look at this man and tell me I’m wrong!
Michael Jordan is considered the greatest basketball player of all time, and he captured international attention again in 2020 with his 30 for 30. We’re not here to discuss that. We’re here to talk about how hot he was.
Evander Holyfield reigned as the undisputed heavyweight in the early 1990s. Heavyweight indeed!
Glow-ups: We want to call out hotties we thought would be hotter in the 90s because they are so hot now.
Terrell Owens could not take a good photo in the '90s to save his life, but he is indisputably hot TUHDAY:
He was handsome in the 90s and is known as the all-time top scorer of the Ivory Coast national soccer team, but Didier Drogba has truly found his groove being hot hot hot:
Frédéric Oumar Kanouté is a successful footballer, 2007 African Footballer of the Year, and, perhaps most importantly, has discovered the power of the beard to increase your hotness.
Why does it matter?
Who among us would not benefit from an interlude to stop and thirst?
What can my Black ass do?
Email us any hotties we missed at thisblackasslife@gmail.com, and email us categories of hotties you recommend next!
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings
Black-ass Christmas icon, Mariah Carey, has declared it’s TIME.
Winnie Harlow won Halloween. Here’s her and other celebrities’ costumes.
Fabrice ‘Fab’ Morvan of Milli Vanilli is sharing his story in a documentary.
Ms. Tina messing up the lyrics but remembering just enough to check her daughter is the highest form of comedy.
A review of the wonderful new Black Cake series on Hulu adapted from the wildly popular book of the same name.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Jumoke):
There are so many good songs out right now! Tyla’s Water video is hot, Lola Brooke remains my new favorite artist, and Angel J. Nelson is giving Black girl metal.
Things we look forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to eating my way through Southeast Asia this month!
I (Mitu) look forward to fun in the sun for the next little bit.
lll. Text Calling A Black-Ass Parent
This mom reported for DUTY to aisle 15, and we must respect it.
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today. We'll hit your inbox next on November 21!