Talk to the Black-Ass Hand!
There are no aisles across which we are willing to reach.
Today, a racist bruised orange is taking power on the day honoring a radical who was assassinated for his beliefs and the power of his movement building. It’s all too much and nonsense is headed your way. In preparation, we’ve drafted a few responses for conversations you do not want to have that are started by people you do not want to have them with.
TL;DR: Talk to the hand because the face ain’t hearing it! IYKYK.
l. The Conversation
It bears repeating that we need someone to do a wellness check on LinkedIn. To that end, we stumbled across a viral post written by a Black woman in support of an Asian man advocating that the path to liberation is hand-holding Agent Orange supporters to feel more comfortable about 2045 and their possible “enslavement.” Giiiirrrrrlllllll. Girl! Sis! Whaaaaaaaaa?
Unfortunately, the poster is not alone; you’re gonna receive a lot of nonsense about centering white people’s imagined oppression over your own actualized oppression. A few helpful responses.
“Help scared Nectarine Nightmare supporters understand we don’t wish to enslave them.” A conversation starting with “Please don’t sell me into white slavery” is too ludicrous a statement to engage with but a few thoughts:
Call us Porsha because who said that?! No, seriously. We have both worked for a long time in civil rights and simply been Black with Black people and the topic has never come up for us!
Should you wish to engage (???), perhaps counter with the question: “Who in this photo seems like someone I want in charge of the cooking or cleaning in my home?“
“Try to find common ground.” By now the only negro saying this seems to be Emmanuel “Generational Trauma Missed Me” Acho (just want to reiterate that he is Igbo, not Yoruba, actually I (Jumoke) want to speak for all Nigerians and say we have traded him to Ghana for literally anyone else). Anyways, when a child is confused; we should connect with them at their level and work with them to understand how to best move forward through a problem. But we’re not talking about literal children and we’re not negotiating bedtimes! If the common ground is debating your ability to live freely under Pumpernickel Poopoohead’s administration, then let that ground crumble between you!
“Hug them through their hate.” Okay! We ask you again. Should you wish to engage this idea, ask them to forreal tell you who in this photo we can even safely approach for a hug!
“Look at things from their perspective.” We’ll give the Cheeto-in-Chief one thing, he makes promises to his sycophants and keeps them. This man wants to implement 100 executive orders on day 1 with a top priority being deportations. There is the perspective of respecting people, and then there is the perspective of supporting mass deportation and ripping families apart. We simply do not wish to walk a mile in the shoes of a mass deporter supporter!
“Groceries are expensive! That’s why they voted for him!” Eggs could be $1 and they could be $1,000,000; Commander Kumquat did not campaign on the cost of groceries. The same people who find this clownery convincing will tell you the Confederate flag is about heritage and the Civil War was about tariffs. He fomented hatred and fear around immigrants, trans young people, and gun policies, among other despicable ideas. He is an insurrectionist, kleptocratic racist who brags about assaulting women. This wasn’t about the damn price of eggs. Miss us with that!
“As people of color, we should … “ AHHHT! Stop right there. If you’ve made it this far into the newsletter, you know to fully 180 from that prompt.
What can my Black ass do?
We don’t want to discourage you from engaging but we’re Meredith Marks to the hatred disguised as genuine inquiry and debate.
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings.
Here is an ongoing directory where you can find the GoFundMes and mutual aid links to support of Black, Latine, Filipino, Disabled, and other displaced families in Los Angeles.
Don Lemon in conversation with Wendy Williams.
Severance hive tap in because Tramell Tillman is finally receiving necessary light.
Shout out to the very funny Michelle Buteau for becoming the first woman to film a comedy special at Radio City Music Hall and for being brave enough to call out a fool’s transphobia.
Blavity in conversation with Drag Race season 17 cast members.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Jumoke):
Adekunle Gold did a fantastic cover of King Sunny Ade’s Me Le Se.
Things we look forward to / Things we recommend:
I (Jumoke) look forward to being in a rainforest Tree House through this MLK weekend.
I (Mitu) look forward to One of Them Days.
lll. Tribute to a Radical Black Father
A beautiful message from Dr. Bernice King about her father, the only man we’re celebrating (or even acknowledging) on Monday.
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today.