The Black-Ass, lawless ‘00’s
Welcome to the 48th installment of This Black-Ass Life. Inspired by Missy Misdemeanor Vanguard Elliott reminding us she put us on to Tweet before we could even Tweet, we decided to take a step back into the lawless ‘00s. So put on your Millennium Tour fit and dive in with us.
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l. The Facts
A stream of conscious recollection of an era with NO rules.
Missy gave us all the hits including Work It and had us speaking in tongues.
Kelly Rowland got mad at Nelly when he didn’t hit her back on Excel. I (Mitu) am personally obsessed with the fact that Kelly has said repeatedly that she doesn't know what Excel even is. The WEALTH of not having to learn basic Microsoft software.
Naturi was kicked out of 3LW via food fight.
Remember when Ray J and Whitney Houston dated?
Bow Wow ruled the era. Like Mike, Nike tracksuits, and his signature move from Let Me Hold You Down made him a star.
Bey and Destiny’s Child gave us hit after hit. Remember when she taught us to love our curves?
Wrapping up our music train of thought with this playlist of 2000s hip hop.
LisaRaye was once the First Lady of Turks & Caicos and then her husband cheated on her with Rocsi of 106 & Park fame. THEN she testified against him.
Halle and Denzel each scooped up Oscars.
Can y’all do this illuminati shit? I (Jumoke) am very proud of myself that I still can.
That era of TV gave us Flavor of Love, all of New York’s shows and the often underrated, Charm School. Monique taught us about clownery and its propensity to bite back, and she learned Saphyri’s real name.
We were all introduced to New York, who did a great interview on What’s The Tee about her legendary career running pop culture. THE LONGEVITY!
Girlfriends, The Game, One on One, All of Us, Eve (Shirley, how you do that?!) and every other UPN/WB classic gave us nonstop entertainment.
Step Up, You Got Served, Save the Last Dance and other movies made us think we could dance.
Drumline, Love Don’t Cost a Thing and ATL taught us what love means.
America’s Next Top Model was a peak lawless 00's show where Tyra shaved heads, put people in Blackface and attempted a singing career, among other ventures.
ll. Other Things
We’re focusing on happy news.
A$AP ghosted Sweet Potato Saddam after his release. I (Jumoke) still want someone to ask him about his dumb Ferguson comments before I truly stop side-eyeing though.
Missy’s back. Stream her album.
Baby Phat is coming back. Take this dip into Kimora’s glamorous world.
Jidenna is out here living and thriving for his album listening tour.
Everyone had to take sides in the great chicken sandwich wars.
Proud Family and Lizzie McGuire are coming back. Marvel and Star Wars didn’t do it for me (Mitu), but that did. I’m getting a Disney streaming account, let me know if y’all want to go in on one.
Love After Lockup Report.
The best show on T.V. We have one really pressing question:
We want to know what kind of empire Andrea and Lemondre are going to be build together that would rival Bey and Jay?
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Mitu):
Black women are doing their THING so let’s give it to Jhene’s flawless My Type verse, Normani giving us all Motivation and Missy reminding us she is the blueprint.
Things we are looking forward to / things we are not looking forward to:
I (Jumoke) look forward to seeing School Girls, or The African Mean Girls Play next month!
I (Mitu) look forward to finally nailing down that basketball move from Motivation.
lll. A panicky text from a Black-Ass Dad
Thank you reader for this text! This is how a Black-ass dad calmly lets you know he got a new phone.
Stay Black, thrive, and stream Missy Elliott. We’ll hit your inbox next on September 9.