Who Are the Black-Ass Mothers of Reality Television: An Academic Review
Who is in the Holy Trinity of television and who is a disciple?
Welcome to This Black-Ass Life! This week, we want to take y’all back to school for a topic worthy of academic review: determining the Black-ass Mothers of reality television. Shout out to the group chat and TBAL honorable member Tobi for her influence.
l. The Framework
Like any respected members of academia, we must first start by explaining our framework and defining “Mother”:
Cultural Impact: Is this person breaking ground within the genre? Are there a thousand memes that can barely cover their contribution to society? Have they influenced how we speak to each other? Have they impacted beyond their specific television show?
Longevity: We must go beyond a flash in the pan. There are reality stars. Then there are reality stars whose influence goes far beyond the scope of their time on air.
Daughters: Have they birthed daughters (gender neutral, obviously)? Are there legacy people and television shows that they have clearly influenced and brought to life?
Era: Given the above, we can’t make a realistic case for reality stars of the last 10 years. These Mothers entered the zeitgeist and ran monoculture in a way that isn’t possible with all of the corners and niches of social media today.
The Mothers
Let’s start with a reminder so we’re all on the same page: without Black women, reality television would be fun but nonsensical table flips and white women running in traffic. Yes, our 8x11 sistrens have done good work (looking at you, RHONY seasons 3 -10, RHOSLC seasons 1-2 and 4 - 5, RHOBH seasons 1 - 3 and 5, and Mormon Wives season 2), but let's be serious. Black women are the genre, and today, within the above defined framework, we give three Mothers their flowers.
The Bard of Atlanta: Linnethia Monique "NeNe" Leakes is the GOAT. She is the blueprint. When the Rosetta Stone of this sh*t timeline is discovered in the year 3145, the following phrases will be on it because Nene actually made language:
"I said what I said"
"Now why am I in it?"
"The ghetto!"
"You're not in this, Mr. Lohan."
"Bloop."
“Honk the horn on ‘em, Greg!”
“Where is your scooter?? WHERE IS IT?!”
“What imma visit? Sticks?”
“Ok, glasses.”
"So lemme get this straight. DJ Tracy was in the room eating your box while your children was in the living room?" ← I (Jumoke) mutter this to myself on a weekly basis.
"It's getting weird ... but I still need to get this watch."
Nene wasn't just a housewife; she was THE house. The construction. The mortgage. The HOA. The whole damn Subdivision. To say she ushered in a new era of Housewives and reality television is simply not enough. Her daughters include nearly every other Housewife of Atlanta (and other cities) and essentially any show featuring broads.
Nene is rightfully on display at the National Museum of African American History and Culture, cashed a certain kind of check we won’t mention, starred in NETWORK television on Glee and the too-short-lived The New Normal, and continues to garner headlines through her YouTube talk show.
The First. The HBIC. Tiffany “good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning. Not you. You can choke” Pollard. The wig shift. Beyawncè? Emily Dickinson has been SILENT since Tiffany let Gemma know about shoes she received.
“Pretty much I would let Gemma know
that she is a fat c*nt, and
um the shoes that she gave me were
not something that I would particularly
buy for myself.
They were old maiden type of shoes, and
she said that those shoes were meant to
be worn on a beautiful woman.
So if that is the case she should have put
them back on the rack,
and she should never even purchased them
because she was UNQUALIFIED to own those shoes
if that's the case and, um
I think that Gemma is just a disgrace.
She’s a disgrace to humanity, and
she's a disgrace to women who are
actually beautiful and classy and, um she
just doesn't have the vernacular the
she thinks she possesses.
Somebody lied to her several times and
told her that she was fly, hot, and sexy,
and beautiful,
and she's nothing like that.
She's nothing of the sort."
Tiffany Pollard not only starred in several additional reality shows but also inspired a whole network of spinoffs off the strength of her stardom. Her quotes raised a generation of people, and her legacy is far too under-discussed. Without her, there is no Joseline Hernandez, any city’s Love & Hip Hop, or Natalie Nunn universe (debate if that is positive or negative on your own time!). I (Mitu) personally love hearing her reflect on her iconic career in this podcast interview with RuPaul and Michelle Visage that she recorded while guest judging on Drag Race.
The Producer. Tyra “hoe but then make it fashion” Banks is forward thinking in a way that is difficult to put to words. From 2003 to 2018, America’s Next Top Model ran for TWENTY FOUR cycles. Now, did Tyra issue an apology for photoshoot concepts like “race switching,” having women permanently alter their bodies before elimination, and changing contestants’ hairstyles to looks influenced by Rosemary’s Baby and Ronald McDonald? Yes. Did she help conceive of wild challenges like blindfolding models on a runway, suspending them in the sky, wrapping them in a bubble, putting them on a moving runway, and dropping them from a ledge. Yes! And yet! Tyra also birthed daughters on that show who went on to be models, actors, advocates, and stars. She taught Betty White to model. She influenced the lexicon. Who among us has not practiced a smize?
If we are talking about Tyra, we also must discuss The Tyra Banks Show. If you’re of a certain age, this is what you watched when you stayed home sick from school or returned to your college dorm room for a midday break. Appointment daytime television. Did she pretend to be homeless (defined as anyone who leaves their house for a few hours), an inmate, and a stripper? Did she pretend to have rabies? Did she invite us to kiss her “fat ass?” Well, yes! Without this show, networks would not have taken chances on other iconic talk shows led by Black women not named Oprah (like the Wendy Williams Show on air 3 years after Tyra Banks debuted).
And in my (Mitu’s) home, this is still a banger!
Honorable Messy Moment Mentions, or The Daughters.
The season 9 Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion is of the best television ever created. We thank everyone on set, especially Kandi “the lies, the lies, the lies” Burruss.
I (Mitu) can recite Monique Samuels’ receipt book speech from memory and turn to it for comfort like people do their favorite mantras or meditations. Full body chills when she calls out the correct phone number, when Robyn and Candiace understand their side in this fight is lost, and when Karen puts a button on it with, “Is Jamal coming?”
Something shifted in the atmosphere when Joseline walked into Mimi and Stevie’s house calling out “Hey, maid.”
Bad Girls’ Club spawned musical hits through Tanisha’s “I ain’t get no sleep ‘cause of y’all” and Erika wondering why Rima turned fake on her through the gorgeous “I don’t understand.”
Of the funniest arguments ever put to film is Kandi Muse vs Ms. Tamisha Iman in Drag Race Untucked. It is so funny that you almost forget the Atl queen Lalari’s bag dress and her lipsync overcoming one of the wildest runway looks ever.
Why does it matter?
Reality TV mirrors the power dynamics of the America we live in. And in this awful timeline, where Black women are expected to entertain, perform, and save democracy (LOL!) without credit, protection, or power, we can at the very least give these Mothers their damn flowers.
We are not being hyperbolic when we say Nene, Tiffany, and Tyra shifted our reality, our language, and the way we understand presence and power on television.
So we can choose to perceive Tiffany as a woman who is just too much, or we can understand her as the bold, emotionally fluent, and unafraid to center herself HBIC she is. We can choose to view Nene as “another loud Black woman,” or we can respect her as the consummate performer she is. The woman who turned confessionals into a form of performance art, seamlessly balancing humor and vulnerability.
What can my Black ass do?
Rewatch the classics. A few recommendations:
Flavor of Love seasons 1 and 2
Real Housewives of Atlanta seasons 1 through 6
Real Housewives of Potomac seasons 3 through 5 with special focus on the season 5 reunion
America’s Next Top Model cycle 3
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings.
A brave educator sued Harvard and finally settled a 15-year legal battle for the right to own photos of her enslaved ancestors.
The Mission Impossible films are of the most important in world history. Fittingly, hear from two of the hottest people in world history about their set experiences: Tramell Tillman and Queen Angela Bassett.
Teyana Taylor the artist and creative director that you are!
Allen Iverson on his deep friendship with Shaquille O’Neal.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Mitu):
Janelle Monáe goes quintuple platinum in my home. Here’s “Make Me Feel.”
Things we look forward to / Things we recommend:
I (Jumoke) look forward to seeing more sports because I am a sports woman now. I saw baseball last week, this Sunday, Mitu and I are seeing the Mystics beat the Sun (look at me knowing teams), and we have plans to see the soccer ladies and tennis at the DC Cup! Go sports ball!
I (Mitu) look forward to Love Island USA. I’ve never seen it before (sorry!) but I know this part-time job level of distraction will be a delight.
lll. Advice from A Black-Ass Ex
Lynx star Courtney Williams shares a barber with her ex boyfriend and has offered clear advice for his hair journey.
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today.