Reality TV & Black-Ass Misogyny
Are there any barbers in Minnesota?
This week, we got to talking about Love Is Blind, which got us to talking about Ready to Love, and so on. The common theme? Why are men!?
l. The Conversation
Are men ok? An investigation through reality dating television.
In February 2025, we were introduced to one of the most confusing line-ups in the history of hair through Devin on Love Is Blind. But he didn’t stop with the confusion there. He courted Virginia, who is stunning, smart, and the daughter of a Democratic state representative. Virginia, in her signature soft voice that was thankfully ditched at the reunion, asked Devin about his political views and he shared “I vote with my faith,” seemingly implying Virginia’s beliefs in abortion access and marriage equality, among other issues, were her breaking with her faith. Despite that line-up, those tattoos, never paying for meals and hiding money (according to Virginia), and his wedding gift to her of matching jerseys, Virginia continued the relationship but ultimately decided to leave him at the altar. Her thoughts after the fact? “I don't know if that's a cultural thing, but it's always been important for me to protect him.” Our thoughts in sum in these comments:
Thank goodness she found the bass in her voice.
Also on Love Is Blind, we met a man with one braid and one attitude to boot, Ramses, who confronted Melissa in season 7 over their lack of physical connection due to her menstrual cycle. Melissa, despite screams at the screen heard ‘round the world at the concept of her even needing to explain herself, calmly told Ramses she had a vitamin d deficiency and painful, difficult PMS which he was not particularly receptive to. Ramses further fixed that braid to tell her he was both unwilling to wear condoms or seriously consider vasectomy. Melissa also shared she felt “blindsided” by their break-up.
Someone come convince me (Mitu) that Ready to Love is not some human behavior study akin to the Stanford Prison Experiment. On this show, grooooown ass Black people are searching for love and dating each other. Like late 30s, 40s, and 50s grown. It’s like Love Is Blind, but they can see each other and are wearing linen pants and grilling sandals. In Season 6, a giant man named Alonzo who was FORTY-FIVE years of age at the time of filming yelled at Shareese while carrying a pool cue. Shareese felt in danger and the rest of the cast felt she should have never riled Alonzo up.
In the current season of Ready to Love, the men don’t like how ambitious Shanice is while she courts a bodybuilder who struggles with homelessness, carelessness, and just overall less-less-ness. This is not to say that people can’t fall on hard times, but you simply cannot be confused (!!) when women are skittish about wanting to date you.
Not quite a dating show. But bonus trifling man mention! On Married to Medicine, Greg, who--and we cannot stress this enough--is a practicing psychiatrist, called his wife “naive” and “sweet” for questioning his thought that a beach argument could have ended in a “fight to the death.” He proceeded to question her real-life combat training experience and then further insulted her on hot mic behind closed doors while she begged him to stop. He wasn’t done embarrassing their home when he did what too many men have done before him: he grabbed a microphone. Y’all. Just watch.
What can my Black ass do?
We’ve documented people’s obsession with pushing Black women attracted to cishet Black men to grab their shovels and drive the bar even further into the inner layers of the Earth’s crust (see: Popeyes Parking Lots of Love). We’ve also written about passport bros and co. (see: Black-Ass Men, What’s Going On?) long before over 20% of Black men showed their whole ass in November 2024. But it is worth reiterating:
Black women and femmes, live your life! It’s resting season for us over here. We’ve carried enough, our mothers have carried enough, as have their mother’s and beyond.
To the three (?) or so cishet Black men who actually read this newsletter, can y’all wellness check in on the men in your life when they exhibit nonsense behaviors??
Ultimately, humans are a communal people. There have been countless articles about the loneliness epidemic, and we have to realize, especially MEN, that our survival is contingent on our ability to effectively be in community with one another. But time after time, whether in pop culture or politics, men are choosing to do everything that repels women from being in community with them. In short, they’re scaring the hos. In our best Nene Leakes voice, it’s getting WEIRD.
II. Other Things
Black-ass happenings.
Watch Virginia’s full interview on AD’s What’s The Reality podcast.
The most precious link up took place between Doechii, Tatyana Ali, and Will Smith.
Speaking of Deochii, she was a VISION through Paris Fashion Week.
Kaavia honored Dwyane Wade with the title of “favorite friend” she’s ever met.
We have a new locked door period piece mystery this week starring Uzo Aduba. Absolutely cannot wait for The Residence on Netflix.
Our Black-Ass song(s) of the week (Mitu):
The weather is starting to finally warm up which automatically means it’s time to enjoy the sunny hit, “Why Don’t We Fall in Love” by Amerie.
Things we look forward to / Things we recommend:
I (Jumoke) look forward to a lil Mediterranean sojourn next week.
I (Mitu) look forward to sunny walks in the park.
lll. Lesson for A Black-Ass Parent
Serena Williams attempted to compete with Olympia in a cooking competition forgetting this child is literally named Olympia. Serena THOUGHT!
Stay Black, have a snack, and take a nap today.